Advice Host Families and au Pairs

Advice for Host Families and Au Pairs

A successful au pair experience starts with clear agreements, open communication, and mutual respect. An au pair is not simply an extra pair of hands, but a temporary member of your family who has come to experience Dutch culture. By providing good guidance from the very beginning, you create the foundation for a positive and rewarding experience for everyone involved.

Give Your Au Pair a Warm Welcome

First impressions matter. If possible, take a few days off when your au pair arrives so you can introduce them to your family, your home, and the local area. Show them where everything is, explain your daily routines, and take the time to get to know each other.

Keep in mind that the first two to three weeks are an adjustment period for both the au pair and the host family. Be patient, give each other time to adapt, and do not expect everything to run perfectly from day one.

Make Clear Agreements

Discuss your house rules, working hours, responsibilities, and expectations as soon as the au pair arrives. Many host families find it helpful to put these agreements in writing so everyone knows what is expected.

Allow your au pair to settle into family life during the first few weeks, and schedule a review meeting after about two weeks. Talk about what is going well, answer any questions, and adjust arrangements if necessary. Continue to communicate regularly throughout the stay. Small misunderstandings are often easy to resolve when they are discussed early.

Treat Your Au Pair as Part of the Family

An au pair is not a domestic worker but a temporary member of your household. Show genuine interest, include them in family life, and encourage their personal growth. Be willing to give as well as receive. Support your au pair in achieving their personal goals, whether that is improving their Dutch language skills or discovering Dutch culture. An au pair who feels welcome and appreciated will care for your children with greater confidence and enthusiasm.

Provide a Comfortable Living Environment

Offer your au pair a private, furnished bedroom with sufficient privacy. Ideally, the room should have a window, heating, and a door that can be locked.

It is also helpful to prepare a welcome folder containing practical information, such as:

• House rules

• Wi-Fi password

• Important phone numbers

• Instructions for household appliances

• Contact details for the family doctor, supermarket, and school

• Information about public transport and the local area

Help Your Au Pair Feel at Home

Encourage your au pair to build a social network as soon as possible. Inform them about local activities, language courses, and opportunities to meet other au pairs. Having an active social life helps with integration and can reduce feelings of homesickness.

Explain Your Parenting Style

Every family has its own routines and parenting approach. Explain how you handle rules, bedtime, meals, screen time, and any special needs or preferences of your children. Don’t just explain what you expect—show your au pair how you would like certain tasks to be carried out.

Give your children time to get to know the au pair as well. A gradual introduction helps build trust and confidence on both sides.

Respect Rights and Free Time

Follow Dutch regulations regarding au pair placements. An au pair may work a maximum of 30 hours per week and no more than 8 hours per day. They are also entitled to at least two days off each week, including at least one full weekend off each month.

Respect your au pair’s free time. Avoid expecting them to look after the children outside their agreed working hours unless this has been discussed and agreed upon in advance.

Take Care of Practical and Financial Matters

Pay the monthly pocket money in accordance with the current Dutch regulations and provide appropriate health insurance. Also discuss arrangements regarding language courses and any other necessary expenses.

Plan holidays together well in advance to avoid misunderstandings or disappointment later in the year.

Prioritise Safety

Discuss important safety rules in and around the home. This includes fire safety, medication, road safety, swimming, and what to do in the event of an emergency or if a child becomes ill.

If your au pair will be using a bicycle or a car, explain the Dutch traffic rules and make clear agreements about its use, insurance, and responsibility in the event of damage.

Be Aware of Cultural Differences

Every culture has its own customs, values, and communication style. Be patient and explain things rather than assuming they are obvious. Show appreciation for your au pair’s efforts and regularly express your thanks or offer a compliment. An open-minded attitude and mutual understanding create a positive and enjoyable experience for everyone.

Don’t Forget the Administration

When your au pair’s stay comes to an end, remember to complete any necessary administrative tasks, such as deregistering them with the municipality and finalising any other required paperwork.

Enjoy the Experience

Hosting an au pair brings new perspectives, cultural exchange, and often lifelong friendships. With clear expectations, mutual respect, open communication, and supportive guidance, you can create a rewarding experience that both your family and your au pair will remember with great pleasure.